Carroll's Blog

A couple of days has passed and I have finally reached a point where I have determined where I am emotionally on the murder of Charlie Kirk. It was an emotional roller coaster ride for me not because I was a fan or supporter of Charlie Kirk, but because no one deserves to be killed or die that way. No matter what your beliefs, opinions or political affiliation, you shouldn’t be murdered for them. I struggled with this because I didn’t agree with him on his approach or view of different topics and I had my own opinions of him as a person. But again no one deserves to be murdered the way he was, especially in front of his wife and children.

Because I disagreed and had my own opinion of him as a person, I struggled and had to examine my own heart because I think I was more upset with the act that was committed against him maybe than I was about his actual life being taken. This was a serious matter of the heart for me. I spent a great deal of time searching my heart and asking God if I was wrong that I was having this struggle. A man’s life had been taken live before our eyes, why am I torn and having this emotional battle over my feelings about it? I definitely was not celebrating his death regardless of what I thought of him and his beliefs! I definitely was not happy or relieved about it! But at the same time, I wasn’t exactly broken up by it either. I was just stuck in the middle emotionally.

As with a lot of others I took to social media to see what was being said and discussed regarding what happened. I saw many people paying tribute to Charlie Kirk and his life and supporting him for his work. I was careful not to pass judgment on them for their feelings and emotions that they shared. I can honestly say that in my mind I went back when the lawmakers in Minnesota were killed in their homes by someone that didn’t agree with them politically, I didn’t see this outpouring of sympathy and grief. There was nothing. No posting of tribute, grief or any concern over their lives being taken. But I quickly had to change course in my thoughts because I would have allowed it to take me down a road of darkness that would cause me see this as some type of justification for my feelings towards this situation. That would have further increased the emotional struggle that I was already experiencing.

What realized was that we are going in a very, very dangerous direction as a society and country. We have allowed political figures who have agenda’s that don’t include or benefit us as a people, to dictate how we see, relate and interact with each other, We have allowed these political figures to determine whether we choose to walk in love or hate one another. We have completely taken God out of the equation and based our lives on what political figures and advocates for those figures tell us to do. This I think why there is so much divisive thinking and behavior in our society. It is a very much “you’re either with us or against us” mentality right now. There is no middle ground at all! And it is only getting worse.

But I pray for the family of Charlie Kirk. Because at the end of the day he was a husband to his wife and a father to his children and no one deserves to lose either! I also pray for the healing that is needed for our country, because it is needed! And finally I pray for the examining of the heart of each and every person in this country, because I believe that is the ultimate need for us all.

Got a bit of a rant because there is a narrative going around that is striking a nerve with me!!

I am seeing signs and hearing rhetoric of anti-mask people pretty much just because they don’t want to be told what to do! Not because they have health issues, but because “this is America and it represents freedom” “This is tyranny being forced upon us by the radical Left”. Well what about the lives of the people who don’t want to have to deal with the risk of getting sick, what about their freedoms?? They are trying to compare them to the Jim Crowe laws that ruled the south for decades! “You can’t drink from that fountain” “you gotta move to the back of the bus” “you can’t eat at this restaurant” “you can’t use those restrooms” “you don’t get to vote” These were real symbols of oppression, not wearing a dang mask to save you’re life and the lives of others!! That narrative is pissing me off and I’m am tired of them comparing it to some sort of oppression from the government!! Wear your mask 😷 for nothing more than being considerate of others, is that really too much to ask for?? Stop the rhetoric and defiance and “just comply” like we are told in other situations!

PSA: I am going to say something that a lot of people either wont want to hear, don’t agree with, or will make them angry!(so what else is new) But the bottom line is that its true.
We have to make a serious effort to be very careful of how we use the word Racism. We cant use it for every situation that is deemed unfavorable on a daily basis. Some situations are a result of prejudice which has an entirely separate meaning.(an unfair and unreasonable opinion or feeling formed without enough thought or knowledge ;Cambridge Dictionary) To separate to the two words is very important. One is fueled by hate, the other is a result of ignorance and lack of exposure. There is a huge difference, and every situation is not the same.
When we label “every” situation as Racist, people become numb to it and it gets blown off and not taken as serious as it should. When we misuse the word Racism it distorts its meaning and takes away its power and importance. Neither of which this world can truly afford to happen.
Be responsible, examine your words and the context in which you use them.
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming……………..

Ok, just because someone who happens to be White says that the movie Black Panther was just “okay” or that they “didn’t care for it that much” doesn’t make them racist or a bigot! Maybe it just didn’t do it for them. Some of the same people said they didnt like Captain America!! Heck I didn’t care for the tv show Friends, does that make me racist?? I am seeing too many rants and arguments between Blacks and Whites over a dang Marvel movie. Now I am not naive as to why “some” will not like or support the movie, but who cares!! You just do your part and support the movie.
We gotta learn when and when not to be so sensitive!

As I find myself getting caught up in the social climate of this nation on a daily basis, a feeling of despair and grief overtake me. Not because of the representation of our country’s leadership. Not because of the economic state of our country or it’s future. Not even because of  the constant battle of racism and injustices that occur all over.  But I get the overwhelming feeling of despair because I get so entrenched in it,  to the point that I allow myself to lose focus. A momentary feeling of frustration and helplessness that causes me to take to social media to find everyone else’s opinion! But most of all I lose focus on the very remedy of it all! I get distracted long enough to take my mind off who is truly in control.  Because I get so caught up in the “right now” that I forget that I already know the outcome. I get so into the action of  this “fixed” fight, that I lose sight of the fact that I already know how it turns out! And rather than turning to the person next to me that is also caught up and involved in this “fixed” fight, and telling them “hey calm down, let me tell you how it all ends. Let me tell you who won” I stoke the fire to keep it going!

The distractions are real, the distractions are strategic. They have a job, they have a purpose to fulfill. That purpose is to grab your focus or attention and keep you from realizing or even finding out, how it really ends.

I can no longer allow myself to be caught up in the fight of “right” now, but I am determined to share the news of the glorious ending!

Throughout life, we often record things that are special to us in ways that help us to remember them. Most commonly with a picture or a postcard. Something visual that we can look at and instantly remember the moment, the time and exactly where we were.  What we felt, usually the joy and excitement of that very moment. Even at a funeral, we take pictures to remember a time when we all came together as family and friends, to celebrate or even morn the life of someone we were fond of.  Our desire to memorialize moments are even shown in the artistic expression of making statues and images of our heroes. Those we choose to remember and recognize for great feats and accomplishments not performed by the average man! Feats that we believe warranted a type of recognition for everyone to see and remember for generations.

We are at a time and place in this country where we are at a crossroad in regards to our heroes and how they have been recognized. We are divided in the very thought of what makes up a hero. Are we to celebrate a person by memorializing them with a statue even when the feeling is anything but joy and excitement to all that see it? When the emotions caused are so painful to one group but celebrated by another, who wins. The recent controversy over the removal of the statues in Louisiana and hopefully future removals in other states, is our time at the crossroad. It’s a time when the question must be asked, does the pain outweigh the celebration? Does the future of this country mean more than its past, no matter how painful it may be to some.

Are we going to punish one group by reminding them of a time of torture, murder and injustice in our country, by celebrating those who led the charge.  I think what is missing is that we are attempting to cover up the pain by choosing to be sympathetic to those who served. We have monuments at the site of the World Trade Center to memorialize a moment in history when people lost their lives, but there is no memorial for those who committed those crimes. That is by design. But around the southern parts of our country, we recognize the feats of those who committed the same crimes against Americans, by continuing to celebrate them with statues. We recognize the pain caused by the representation of the Hitler influenced Swastika to the Jewish people of the world. Why is it so different in the south in America. The statues erected to represent the “Old South” have the same influence of a hate driven mentality.

It’s time for change. It’s time for the future to become more important than our past. It’s time to remove these fixtures of a painful past, and become the nation that we claim to be. A nation for all people to live and operate with the same rights and dignity.  Lets make history, by removing the representation of our painful past.

I am ​so tired of all the outrage about Kaepernick and his protest, especially now that other players are joining in. But still we have no outrage over the cause of the protest. Is it because you dont want to be exposed or be honest about the injustices that are going on?  I am not going to say that every incident of injustice is rooted in racism. That would be irresponsible on my part. But I do believe that every incident has been at least based on perception and lack of value. The perception that the percentage of Black Men are a  threat is much higher than it is that we are not a threat. That’s  the cause. A perception that is heavily influenced by what America is seeing on television and how we are portrayed. Much of this is also fueled by images we display in music and rap videos. Images of gun toting, menacing, violent characters walking about ready to “set it off” in a moments notice. 

A lot of this behavior is used to demand respect by exuding fear. All because we have never gotten the respect as a man or equal man in this country from day we were chained and dragged here! But we have gone about this quest for respect in an unproductive way. Oprah Winfrey felt that America gave you respect if you had money. If you had money, and used it wisely you also gained power. You get money and power, you have respect.  Oprah’s quest in life was to build her wealth to become respected after the injustices she saw growing up in Mississippi. We are not wrong to demand respect and value in this country, for the simple fact that we deserve it. Our lives as Black people are just as valuable as any other race in this country. We deserve the same justice as any other race in this country.  But we as Black people have to make sure that we are showing examples of valuing our own lives the way we are demanding it from others. If we continue the Black on Black violence in our own communities, and dont show value for each other, who’s going to listen when we demand it from the rest of the country. It is clear that they are not listening when we say that Black Lives Matter. And that is because we are not showing it in our own communities. We are killing each other over sneakers.  Drug dealers are selling drugs not in suburban America, but in the Black community. Dragging down our own people. We have to start the change in this country and not just demand change. We have to value Black Lives first, and then pray that the rest of this country follows suit.

I am really torn on the issue of banning Muslim travelers from enter into the country right now. I heard a story today of a family that was cleared to travel to California 3 weeks ago, but was denied access to board the plane  at the airport in London. This is very difficult for me to decide which side of them I’m on because I understand both sides of it.
I understand the possible risk to national security, but I also understand the profiling that is also occurring to some Muslims that are innocently trying to enter the country to visit family or truly escape war and hardship in their homeland. I don’t want to see our country put at risk by terrorist that may be hiding among those entering our country either.
The tough part about the profiling is that it can justify everything that those in the Middle East already think about our country. On the other hand, what does it say to the thousands of our military personnel that have and are serving to protect us every day, We just told them that their sacrifice was irrelevant because we as a country don’t want to appear politically incorrect by not allowing those into our country to live the American dream.
This is tough and must be carefully thought and planned out. Regardless of the final decision that is made, it will turn the course of direction for our country dramatically.